It happens to all of us...or at least I hope it does. You go through your days juggling your family, your job, and your home. Then all of the sudden, one of those balls gets dropped. You send your oldest to school for two days in a row in 36-degree weather without a jacket because you weren’t able to finish the laundry. You forgot to buy bread and your kids are introduced to your latest lunch invention: a thrown-together “open face” sandwich in Tupperware. Or maybe you just took the morning walk of shame to the school office to get your child yet another tardy slip from the school secretary. Any of these can make you feel like you’ve got a big neon “L” emblazoned on your forehead. Once again, you are sure you have failed as parent.

Failure is funny. The truth is, you could probably go through life avoiding failure quite successfully. I’m not saying it would be easy, but I believe if “failure avoidance” was your ultimate goal, you would develop a strategy to achieve it. The strategy would include the following: not takings risks, eschewing all other goals, and complete narcissism. Probably not the most Godly path, let’s explore why.

With Risk Comes Reward

Failure is part of the process. As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Any engineer will tell you that the act of creation is a series of failures. Maybe you’ve been inspired to create something new. It could be something artistic, scientific, or simply a process you want to improve. You can’t get from Point A (inspiration) to Point Z (final creation) without all of the points in between. Those points in between are the substance, they are the hurdles you leap over and the valleys of despair you cross. In the end, however, there is a great reward. Success. Improvement. Growth. Apply this to your journey as a Christian. Wouldn’t you risk it all for that reward?

Don’t Be Failure-Focused

So you want to avoid failure...to what end? If you were to apply all of your energy toward only taking on what is achievable, what are you missing out on? I often feel overwhelmed, like maybe I’ve spread myself too thin. However, I could not imagine my life any other way. I want my children to have full lives where they have ample opportunities to grow in knowledge, faith and character. I want them to learn from their parents how to take on responsibilities at work, home and church. I want them to make a difference in the world, even if it’s just in the smallest of ways. I want them to know that a failure is not the end, it’s an opportunity to grow and improve, and that we should embrace it as such. The danger of failure is when we refuse to make changes, and continue to fail in the same areas. Failure without learning is just failure. So realize that experience is the best teacher, and let your children see you allow yourself the freedom to fail, and then move on.

It’s All About You

When I was a little girl I always wanted to be the very best. I wanted the best grades, to sell the most Girl Scout cookies, or just to have the cleanest room in the house. As I grew older and life became more complex, I began to falter. I could no longer maintain the high standards that I had set for myself. In reality, I had begun to see the truth that I didn’t want to accept: I could never be perfect. This harsh fact led me into a period of depression. How could this be? No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, I wasn’t perfect! It seems silly now, but at the time this confusion was the symptom of a more serious problem. The real problem was that I was completely self-consumed, if attaining personal perfection was my biggest concern in life.

I look at my children now and pray that they understand that life is a journey of ups and downs, and to appreciate it as a whole. In raising them, I find myself pushing them to simply do their best. The balancing act comes in when I must dissuade them from giving up too easily. I want them to challenge themselves, even if they think they will fail. In those moments, I can see them growing in both strength and character. When they see that I’m not perfect they see that failure is a natural part of life, an opportunity for growth. In all of God’s promises, He never promised our time here would be without struggle. In our faith may we find the fortitude to continue to rise after we fall.