HOW TO WRITE A BLESSING

by Derin Williams

Last summer my oldest son (14) and I had the opportunity to go to a father/son retreat in Alaska called the Quarry Project. Of the many adventures they guided us through one stood out the most. It wasn’t the most dangerous or most exciting, but it made the most impact on me as a father/parent. It is something that I think that I would have deeply benefited from if I got to experience it with my earthly father. The adventure included just the two of us on a remote island, making a fire, throwing rocks, praying, and time with God in His magnificent creation. During this time my task was to write a Father’s Blessing to my son. As I wrote it out, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being molded and refined by God. On the last day of this epic time, all of the fathers and sons circled around to witness our spoken blessings to our sons. Tears, laughter, tenderness, strength, love, and deep connection was witnessed by all. Let’s just say our Heavenly Father’s presence was palpable and we got to witness in real time generational change.

I wanted to share how you too can write a meaningful Blessing to your child. It can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be.

There are many examples of Blessings in the bible, for example in Genesis 12 God blesses Abraham, and then in Genesis 48 Jacob blesses his sons, Jesus blesses the children in Mark 10 and his disciples in Luke 24, to name a few. A Blessing is not just for fathers to their sons, it can be to daughters, it can be from mothers or from grandparents, it can be made to adult children and can even be spoken over a spouse or a friend. But for the purpose of this blog post I want to specifically write to parents for a pivotal time on their child’s journey.

Some of us are good at sprinkling encouragements (mini blessings) but rarely in our culture do we witness an intentional spoken Blessing to our children. Rarely do they hear from us at a deliberate time sitting across from them looking into their eyes and speaking into them truths about who they are, how proud we are of them, how we adore them and what we see for their future. A time where tears flow and hearts are filled. Think of a Blessing as the rich compost you add to your garden every year to boost health and growth and the watering and weeding as the daily encouragements.

Choose a meaningful place, like a favorite restaurant, a beautiful spot in nature, or any place that says this is special or memorable. It can be spoken in front of other important people who support your family or one-on-one. Put thought into it and make it extra meaningful. A small gift and/or the Blessing written out and given to them can be impactful too.

When I was scheduled to read my Blessing over my son (in fellowship with the rest of the group) my son actually got ill and needed to be at the cabin resting. God used this time and while all of the other fathers were around the fire Blessing their sons we were in a dark cabin. I didn’t know if we would have time in the morning for my Blessing to be witnessed by the others, so I decided to sit beside my sick son, lay my hands on him and speak into him. As the words were spoken and the tears flowed, I felt a weight lifted that was on our relationship with each other. I did end up getting the chance to speak it to him the next day before we left, which was also very special. But that dark cabin with the rays of light streaming in through the curtains, seemed a better fit for us. The conditions don’t have to be perfect, it’s more about the intentionality and love behind it that matters most!

Here is a framework for some things to include (adapted from The Quarry Project)

1. Express how honored you are and grateful you are for them
2. State what attributes, gifts/talents, potential you see in them
3. Remind them how much you love and support them unconditionally
4. Explain your faith in them, their skills and their character
5. Close with your approval, hope for the future and blessing over them
6. Pray for/with them

If you don’t know where to start you can always use The Aaronic Blessing in the Bible, which I’ll leave you with:

The Lord bless you

and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace. (Numbers 6: 24-26)

I hope you found this helpful! Sidenote, if you are a father of a young son (10-14 years) I encourage you to look into the Quarry Project and if possible, get up there with a group of Dads and commit to getting your son off on the true path to growth. I guarantee you will not regret it, contact The Quarry Project